What is the perfect “recipe” to destroy a relationship?
Unfortunately, it is often much easier to destroy something than to build it, something that is also valid in the case of couple relationships. It happens that a relationship ends leaving you wondering: “what happened, what didn’t work, what did I do wrong?”.
It is not easy to maintain the relationship over time, which must be protected and maintained. Many articles and books focus on the recipe for happiness as a couple, on the ingredients necessary for two partners to stay together. This time, however, let’s discuss how we can ruin everything, about the recipe that will inevitably lead to disaster, in the end.
What “ingredients” must not exist in the “soup”, which is the recipe that will destroy a relationship?
Lack of respect –
Love, a porcelain bauble, which breaks into thousands of shards that are difficult to glue together if the two partners do not respect each other. From the way they talk to each other to the way they treat each other. Unfortunately, we are often rude and even offensive to our loved ones: we are more kind to a stranger than to our boyfriend or girlfriend!
And even when one of them displays impeccable politeness, but adopts that air of superiority, as if he knows better or what he does is more important, it is still called disrespect. Respecting a person also involves a kind and courteous attitude, but also respecting what he is and what he does.
Disinterest and lack of appreciation –
How can you expect a relationship to go well if you show no interest in your partner, be it his ideas, his passions or his career? Moreover, some people do not show interest in couple activities, they do not really dedicate time to be together with their loved one. It’s not enough to say you’re together: you really have to be!
When one of the partners is more interested in his hobbies and spending time with friends than in his relationship, it only leads to its breakup .
Appreciating your partner means wanting to stay with them, to dedicate your time to them and to be interested in what they do, think and say. Some are focused on themselves, always focusing a conversation on their own person: this is not what a couple means!
Lack of sincerity –
Sometimes, you may find it easier to tell a lie or omit the truth, “for the good of the other”. But what is an intimate relationship without sincerity between the two? It is necessary to show yourself as you are, say what you think and speak the truth even when it is more difficult.
Because being caught in a lie, even if it seems harmless to you, leads to the disappearance of trust. Your partner will think that if you managed to lie once, why not lie all the time? Without trust, suspicions and doubts appear, in short, the whole relationship takes a dangerous path.
Inadequate or non-existent expression of affection
Love must be expressed. It is never good to make the mistake of assuming that the other person knows what you feel and how you feel. The person you are with needs to hear and see that you love them.
Even if you are the more withdrawn, introverted type of person who does not express his emotions easily, the relationship requires a minimum of effort . What is love after all if it is not expressed?
Furthermore, each person expresses their affection in a different way: some use words of love; others through intimate gestures and physical proximity; others through small favors (making your partner breakfast in bed, doing his household chores when he’s tired, helping with a project, etc.); and last but not least, some express themselves through gifts, from small symbolic gifts to expensive gifts.
It is very important to know which is your main way of expressing your affection, but also to find out which is that of your partner.
What does he need from you? For example, if you tell him or her how much you love him or her every day, but he or she rather needs tender gestures or actions to show him or her your love, it is not strange for him or her to conclude that you don’t actually feel love! It seems hard to understand, but you have to be on the same wavelength and know what each needs from the other…
Lack of commitment, involvement –
You respect each other, appreciate each other, love each other: it’s perfect. But…without both of you getting involved, making a commitment to each other, the relationship will not last over time. Some are afraid of “serious” involvement, preferring to live day by day without making too many plans for the future.
It is a common problem: one of the two partners avoids establishing a future together, endlessly postponing the next step in the evolution of the relationship (moving in together, getting engaged, etc.). Without evolving, without growing, the relationship stagnates and finally gives way…