What are the 5 “love languages”?
Love is a subject of interest for all of us: artists use it as inspiration and sing it through their art, scientists strive to “dissect” it, and the rest of us want to live it. We all love or have loved, but not all of us express our feelings in the same way; here the idea of love languages can shed some light on love relationships.
Think about your relationships as a couple :
In what way do you show (or show) your feelings towards your partner? What about him/her to you? What made you feel loved? What about him/her? We each have a specific language and sometimes it is different from that of the person we love (if you are interested, you can look for the book The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman and you can even find an online test that shows you your language).
The author says that everyone has “a primary language” and a secondary one through which they express their love . Moreover, the person expects his partner to express himself similarly.
So, think not only about which love languages are specific to you (that is, the way you show your feelings and the way you would like your partner to show them), but also about the languages that your loved one uses. Not surprisingly, if he and she have different languages, it is not uncommon for one of them not to feel satisfied.
What are the 5 love languages?
♥ Closeness and physical touch –
It is perhaps the most widespread way in which people express their feelings, through tender and intimate touches. It is also the easiest to perceive: a hug or a kiss does not really convey anything but affection. But not everyone uses physical contact as an expression of love.
♥ Words of affection, closeness, encouragement –
Another language specific to many, because words express most directly what you feel. If you need to hear your partner telling you that he loves you, if in the absence of these words you do not feel assured of his feelings, it is your primary language.
But it’s not everyone’s : some believe that it’s not words that matter, but deeds… Also, it’s not just about words of love, but also about appreciation of the other (which prove that you admire and respect him/her) and encouragement, support (which shows that you are with him/her).
♥ Quality time spent together – have you been in the situation of telling the other person that you love him/her, but still he or she complains about the fact that you don’t show your love? Because for him or her, not words or touches are the primary language, but spending time together, the fact that you want and choose to be with him/her and not with someone else. Attention : it is about “quality” time, so watching TV together can hardly be described as such.
♥ Acts of care and services –
For some, a declaration of love is when they get out of bed and prepare breakfast for the other person; or when you wash the dishes for the other; or when they do any other gesture for the other, thus expressing their care and attachment. They are acts by which the person shows that he cares about the other person and that he wants to take care of him/her and be of use to him/her, to help him/her, to spoil him/her .
Just as some prove their love through tender gestures or by devoting their time, others do it through these small favors (don’t be surprised if your girlfriend/boyfriend thinks he’s shown his love by cooking you a tasty dinner!).
♥ Gifts –
Maybe it sounds a little superficial, but it’s not really like that; Are you worried about what gifts to give your loved one, wanting to convey your feelings of affection and devotion through them? Do you think that the time and attention spent in choosing the perfect gift is an indicator of love? Are you disappointed when your partner does not give you a suitable gift?
Do you think that with a gift you offer both joy and proof of the fact that you know him/her and that you know what he/she likes? Then one of your languages is this. You have to be very careful also if the person you love uses this language because in this case, no matter how much you tell or show that you love him/her, an inappropriate gift will disappoint him/her.