Lasting relationship: 7 tips to have one
What makes up a lasting relationship? Affection, love and affection help a lot, of course. These feelings are the glue that holds couples together, but for the relationship to last, other elements must also be taken into account.
Building a healthy affective relationship requires understanding, empathy and patience, in addition to love. Living with people, even those who are loved, is not usually easy.
You need to have your individuality within the relationship to be able to pursue your own goals. At the same time, you need to know how to balance your desires with the desires of others and respect their individuality.
Below, we separate seven tips to help you maintain your relationship and thus make it lasting! If you believe you need urgent help saving or learning more about your relationship, consider couples therapy .
1. Prioritize dialogue
Dialogue is one of the most important factors for the success of a relationship and even for other areas of life. Being a good communicator is, for example, necessary to expose your ideas at work and have a good relationship with colleagues.
As much as the couple like each other and spend a lot of time together, the spouses do not know each other 100%. People are also in constant change due to the experience and knowledge they acquire from their experiences, so their opinions and postures are not the same forever.
Therefore, communication is always necessary to express wills, feelings, changes in plans and new goals. Likewise, it is essential to resolve conflicts properly.
Conflicts between couples are often motivated by deep issues that do not only concern the present situation. To decipher the real reason for the irritation, you need to know how to talk without raising your voice and act with disregard for the other. That is, in addition to expressing themselves honestly, couples should listen to their partners.
2. Make deals
Relationships require agreements to be made often. It’s normal to have to give in from time to time or be willing to do something you never thought about/wanted on behalf of your spouse.
A relationship is made of balance. You can’t have everything you want if you don’t have the willingness to do the same for your loved one. After all, she also has her wills!
When one partner wants to do something and the other doesn’t, what can you do in that moment? First, exercise dialogue and listening. Then make a deal so that both are eventually satisfied. With patience and maturity, it is possible to reach a legal agreement for all parties.
When the issue has greater weight, such as accepting a job offer in another city, the discussion naturally needs to be longer. It is necessary to consider how this great change can affect the couple’s life in several aspects. But it is also possible to reach a consensus after a good conversation.
3. Don’t sleep angry
You’ve probably already heard this advice. “Don’t go to bed angry” is about unresolved fights. Instead of sleeping with the anger arising from a conflict, try to resolve it so that the unpleasant situation does not extend.
When we overlook little (or big) things that annoy us, they usually snowball inside us. At any moment we can explode and spill everything we wanted to say and didn’t say at the right time. The result of this is more disagreement and anger.
So, avoid prolonging conflicts. Choose to resolve them on the same day and close the matter, even if it takes time.
Healthy and lasting relationships are not made of couples who never fight, as people often think. Fights are stigmatized in affective relationships, as they are usually a sign that the relationship is not going well.
However, don’t be afraid to fight with your spouse. If you harbor this fear, you may get stuck in an argument or avoid talking about difficult but often necessary topics. Healthy and lasting relationships are made up of couples who know how to solve their problems together.
4. Show Spouse Support
Demonstrate that you are interested in your partner’s hobbies and projects. Offer your support to him or her along their journey, even if you don’t quite understand their goals.
If you need to hold off on household chores or parenting for a while to help out, consider accepting. It is as said in the other topic: within a relationship it is necessary to make agreements.
Understand that support isn’t just shown through words of encouragement and hugs. checkout how to support your spouse.
- Be a good listener;
- Help your partner de-stress;
- To be honest;
- Show appreciation for the partner’s work;
- Attend important events for him;
- Help with disclosures if necessary;
- Respect his point of view;
- Help boost his confidence;
- Be nice;
- Be understanding; It is
- Dedicate time to your partner.
5. Trust each other
Allow yourself to trust your spouse.
Excessive jealousy and distrust undermine the relationship of any couple. Being jealous occasionally is normal, even if that feeling doesn’t make sense most of the time. For example, some couples are jealous even of friends and relatives of the beloved.
If you are a jealous person, ask yourself where the need to monitor your spouse’s behavior or to monopolize your spouse’s attention comes from. If he really likes you, why would he have reason to be unfaithful? Or to make a decision that goes against something already right for both of you?
If there is a possibility of this happening in your relationship, you may need to rethink the quality of your relationship.
In healthy relationships, there is no need to control or distrust the partner’s behavior. If this feeling arises, these issues are usually resolved through dialogue.
Sharing secrets, showing vulnerability and being transparent with your feelings are some ways to build trust in a relationship. However, only take these steps if you feel comfortable.
6. Respect differences
You and your loved one are probably not 100% identical, are you? They may have interests and traits in common, but not think alike. The differences between you must be respected for the relationship to grow.
Sometimes people have very high expectations about their spouse’s behavior. They idealize a perfect person and come across someone different, on a large or small scale, from their dreams. In these cases, they may become frustrated or try to modify their spouse’s behavior.
To prevent this from happening, keep your expectations realistic about the path of the relationship and the spouse. Respect the differences between you, whether they are opinions, professional goals, clothing style, group of friends, etc. Learn to live with them to make your relationship stronger.
If the differences are very discordant, perhaps they are a sign of the couple’s incompatibility. Even if there is affection and a desire to be together, there may be no understanding of these distinctions.
7. Spend quality time together
“A couple that stays together, stays together”. This popular saying can be used in multiple contexts, as well as interpreted in the simplest way: spending time together.
Try to create good memories with your partner. Suggest doing things you both enjoy. These invitations end up disappearing over time and many spouses complain about this withdrawal. Even after years of relationship, it’s nice to go out and have fun with your loved one as if it were the first time!
In addition to leisure activities, try to take courses together. In this way, both can grow together, enjoy new experiences and encourage each other to improve. It is evident in healthy and long-lasting relationships how couples like to evolve alongside each other.