Distance dating: 08 important tips to make it work!
Long distance dating tips
1. Long-distance dating requires much more
First, it is worth considering them before making the choice. Despite all the technology available, distance itself remains an issue. It’s annoying not being able to meet the person with the desired regularity. Missing days can be even harder
Depending on the locations and routines, accessing your romantic partner can be much more difficult, proving to be a real ordeal on those days when we miss someone physically by our side. At the same time, it is an exercise in detachment and maturity. For it to work, both parties need to be aware of the implications and also willing to go over certain issues so that everything goes as smoothly as possible.
2. Trust above all else
Trust is the foundation of any relationship. Without it, even lovers who live in the same city will not have a healthy experience in love. A relationship that is based on demand and distrust has everything to go wrong, as in fact it often happens.
If you’re the type to die of jealousy or don’t accept a partner with a life independent of yours, it may be time to reconsider your own ability to maintain a long-distance relationship, or indeed any relationship.
Saying you trust the person next to you is quite different from actually trusting them. Those who say this, but are always looking for ways to monitor and limit the other, are actually quite hypocritical, as they build a relationship based on curtailing the freedom of their companions and, sometimes, of themselves.
Avoid getting into a game so common in relationships, which is to restrict your romantic partner and control him, limiting the life of the other just to what is convenient for you. Speaking like this, it seems that no one would experience a relationship that way, the problem is that these behaviors often occur disguised as love, affection and care.
In the case of a long-distance relationship, this issue is even more serious. You may have already seen some couples who, even if they are far apart, live the whole day informing each other about their daily lives, location, etc. This might seem like fun at first, but it quickly turns into a symbiotic relationship where there’s no room for individualities.
We must always allow the other to have his own experience, without it bothering us to know that he has had experiences and had fun without you. In a way, distance is beneficial for any type of union, as it allows you to live new experiences and oxygenate the relationship.
In addition, this allows us to miss each other, to miss each other’s experience. Of course, in the case of people living in cities or even different countries, this is not so cool, but we are here to help you get around it in a favorable way!
3. Stay positive
A little positive thinking won’t solve problems, but it will certainly help you face the barriers in this form of relationship. Mainly because, as it is something relatively uncommon, you will be faced with all kinds of criticism and questions about your choice, an aspect discussed in detail towards the end of the text.
Positivity is the first step towards building the reality we want for ourselves and our loved ones. Many find themselves incapable of sustaining a long-distance relationship due to a pure lack of confidence in themselves, which demonstrates how fragile we are in the face of issues such as love
Believing is always the basis for the world to respond to what we want to build in it, while the lack of faith puts us in a much lower place than what we could achieve. If you already consider that a long-distance relationship will only have problems and barriers, it will hardly work.
On the other hand, keep an eye out for signs of troubled dating. Just like any other, a long-distance relationship has problems that may require a breakup by one or both parties. We often experience these dilemmas in our relationships and we cannot say clearly whether we should in fact end a union that, although pleasant, also brings many difficulties.
Anyway, before proposing a definitive breakup, there are some strategies practiced to change the course of a couple. One way that has been quite popular lately is individual or couple training and therapy courses. Participating in an experience like this, in fact, can transform a relationship.
Unfortunately, most people have trouble opening up and thinking through their own experiences. In this way, we end up committing disastrous mistakes, which can hurt the other and put down something very positive for both of us in fact.
4. Always communicate
Constant contact is a way of bringing those who are far away closer to you. In the case of people who live far away, this ends up being a great way to have a lasting and happy relationship .
On the other hand, excessive communication can also be a problem. Some people who live far away remain so attached to their romantic partner that they are not even able to establish an autonomous life in the place where they live. Dialogue should occur naturally, without one side feeling pressured to pay attention at all times, and also without a constant absence of one of the parties.
Communication problems are the cause of most conflicts between couples. We are taught to keep certain annoyances to ourselves, at the same time, we find it difficult to listen to the other party in their needs.
Therefore, working on communication in a relationship is never too much. But this dialogue must always take place in a mature and respectful way. Often, only one of the parties is interested in reflecting on the couple’s issues, which ends up causing an even greater distance in the end. There must be an interest of both in looking into the couple’s problems and trying to solve them in the best possible way.
5. Invest in pampering
Who doesn’t like to win a little gift? When we win something from a person who knows us well, that feeling is even more pleasurable. The act of giving a gift is also very rewarding, as we feel that we managed to reach the other and still remain there in some way.
With distance, gifts are almost an extension, a little piece of yourself reaching out to someone else. A tip here is that, instead of spending large amounts of money on a single gift, try to divide that money into some parts and present your loved one more consistently.
Money here doesn’t even have to be a big issue. You can pamper your loved one through gestures and gifts that aren’t expensive, but speak to the unique aspects of your relationship.
6. Visit each other whenever possible
Face-to-face visits are an important part of maintaining a long-distance relationship. Unfortunately, there is a tendency for couples who don’t see each other for a long time to end up growing apart, it’s a natural process in our lives.
Of course, this depends on one’s needs. There are couples united for years on end even without meeting at any point in that time. Yet when this happens it is usually because there is also a prospect that encounters may take place in the future.
Like it or not, face-to-face meetings are great fuel for any relationship. For many, these are the moments where the relationship actually happens. In addition to the intimate moments, which are also often necessary for many people, it’s the chance to be there next to those who really matter to you.
It is common, for example, for people to be different online and in person. So there is still a long way to go for a video call or something like that to replace or be an equivalent of the “real life” meeting.
You might be thinking: “But the person I’m dating lives far away!”, “The tickets are expensive”, “I have a heavy work and study routine!”.
For example, when we talked earlier about saving on gifts, it’s an effective way to save money for an extra date throughout the year. For those who study and do not have many conditions to pay for transportation, there are some facilities for obtaining tickets at much more affordable prices, just search and run after. Even if you don’t study, there are websites and apps that specialize in finding cheap tickets.
Many associate traveling with a large expenditure of money, but, in fact, this impediment can be overcome with disposition and creativity. For example, there are much cheaper and even safer means of transport than the bus and the car.
7. Take advantage of technological resources to reduce the distance
Needless to say that there are more and more technologies available for those who want to communicate at a distance, making the daily lives of those who live far away much easier, as it brings the presence of those we like instantly and constantly. So it’s not difficult to follow the life of the other and be there in difficult times.
There are lots of new and useful ways to make this kind of contact. It’s not even necessary to have such a powerful Internet connection to be able to make video calls, in real time, whenever we want. At the same time, there are many applications and technologies aimed at this purpose that can solve your needs. Programs like Skype or applications like Facetime are of great help at this point, both of which are free and work perfectly to make video calls.
If you are the type that has problems adapting to new technologies, try to make an effort in this direction and you will certainly have positive results. Learning to use such artifices is not only useful for life as a couple, but also solves many common problems in our daily lives, so don’t be afraid to venture into this field. Practices like this, bringing new knowledge closer together, are part of the habits to succeed in life.
In addition to real-time contact, remember that there are creative and fun ways to stay present in the other’s life. A suggestion in this sense is sending letters, something that is not used, but with a great appeal for affective relationships.
8. Celebrate important dates
Another artifice, which helps to keep your relationship happy, is the appreciation of important dates. In addition to the issue of gifts, it is a way to create other valuable moments with your loved one, even if you are far away.
In general, creativity is recommended for both, in the sense of creating happy and romantic memories. Even if you don’t consider important dates like Valentine’s Day, it can be an opportunity to exchange affectionate messages or even send a special playlist for the occasion.